Reasons why I'm a terrible girl:
13:05:00...no X Factor blog this week as I've been home for the weekend sorting out bank stuff and fixing phone cameras which was broken during freshers week... X Factor is strictly banned in our home, due to the fact my dads a (former) musician and cannot stand it, basically. (And the fact I made them watch it 3 years in a row a few years back and we missed many weekends which could have been spent watching Christmas films). Yeah. So instead we're going to the theatre to watch Othello, I hate Shakespeare.. This shall be riveting.
Any who, let's get down to business! Basically, a conversation I regularly have with people normally start with "Beth, you're such a lad" or "Beth, you're not really a girl are you?" And this got me thinking.. I'm not really much of a girl, I stacked up many reasons why I'm an awful girl and how it all started....
1. I HATED the Spice Girls... Yep. After years of saying "Oh they were a bit before my time", I met people younger than me who idolised them, it got pretty awkward. Yep. I was so against the whole girl power thing, no thankyou. And I reallllllllllllly didn't like their music. I appreciated Emma Bunton... on her solo album. I am possibly one of a small number of girls from the 90s who don't like Spice Girls. THERE I SAID IT.
2. I was far more into playing blast corps Nintendo 64 than barbies. (Everyone else had moved on to playstations/Gamecubes/Gameboys) BUT still, no other girls in the school were playing games where you'd pretty much have to destroy a city.. I feel kind of bad for my parents who actually spent money on barbies for me when they were used for being drawn on and having their haircut by a true professional... I was far more into trains & cars.. like every other boy.
3. I was obsessed with Pokemon & Digimon. I realise now I'm not truly on my own with this one. But whilst girls were spending their money on personalised hairbands I was getting my mother to buy me pokemon cards.. me and my brothers (will kill me for admitting this) would spend mornings watching and then pretending that we were real pokemon trainers.. outside, in the mud.
4. Dresses are the worst invention in the world. I'm getting better, I have started wearing skirts, but ONLY if I'm allowed shorts underneath because, I am so unmodest. Oh christ, what is even the point in them? You get drunk, no self control, EVERYONE will see your pants.. classy. I did wear a lovely collection of dresses when I started uni, after many years of avoiding them like the plague, but lets be honest, you can't go wrong with a decent pair of shorts.
5. I get ready in about 20 minutes, shower, hair, make-up, clothes. bam. I thought this was the norm until I moved in with girls, some people can take hours, I don't know, what they spend their times doing, but they take hours.
6. I've been on many lads nights out, and can confirm they're far more fun than girls nights out (sorry ladies), they're just fun, there's no time to top up make-up, it's just glorious.
7. Apparently every lass on the planet was given a gene which teaches them to dance in clubs. I however, was not. I'm a foot-tapper, an arm waver and just a general jumper. So whilst everyone else is bumpin' it out I just look like a twat.
8. I once went on a night out, sat down and dominated the Super Nintendo. I got into a scrap with boys who wanted to play, I quote "no, fuck off, I'm playing". I basically spend £3 to get in to play a game I had half an hour down the road. How ladylike..
9. I have no liking for bags, clothes and shoes (which is horrendeous as I work in a shoe shop). Getting me clothes shopping is the worst, I'd rather shit in my hands and clap. Why would any one want to spend their money on clothes bags and shoes when it can be spend on gigs and alcohol?! Errrr hellllllooo!? I went about 4 years just owning one pair of shoes & I've had my bag for a good 5 years. Absolutely no shame.
1. I HATED the Spice Girls... Yep. After years of saying "Oh they were a bit before my time", I met people younger than me who idolised them, it got pretty awkward. Yep. I was so against the whole girl power thing, no thankyou. And I reallllllllllllly didn't like their music. I appreciated Emma Bunton... on her solo album. I am possibly one of a small number of girls from the 90s who don't like Spice Girls. THERE I SAID IT.
2. I was far more into playing blast corps Nintendo 64 than barbies. (Everyone else had moved on to playstations/Gamecubes/Gameboys) BUT still, no other girls in the school were playing games where you'd pretty much have to destroy a city.. I feel kind of bad for my parents who actually spent money on barbies for me when they were used for being drawn on and having their haircut by a true professional... I was far more into trains & cars.. like every other boy.
3. I was obsessed with Pokemon & Digimon. I realise now I'm not truly on my own with this one. But whilst girls were spending their money on personalised hairbands I was getting my mother to buy me pokemon cards.. me and my brothers (will kill me for admitting this) would spend mornings watching and then pretending that we were real pokemon trainers.. outside, in the mud.
4. Dresses are the worst invention in the world. I'm getting better, I have started wearing skirts, but ONLY if I'm allowed shorts underneath because, I am so unmodest. Oh christ, what is even the point in them? You get drunk, no self control, EVERYONE will see your pants.. classy. I did wear a lovely collection of dresses when I started uni, after many years of avoiding them like the plague, but lets be honest, you can't go wrong with a decent pair of shorts.
5. I get ready in about 20 minutes, shower, hair, make-up, clothes. bam. I thought this was the norm until I moved in with girls, some people can take hours, I don't know, what they spend their times doing, but they take hours.
6. I've been on many lads nights out, and can confirm they're far more fun than girls nights out (sorry ladies), they're just fun, there's no time to top up make-up, it's just glorious.
7. Apparently every lass on the planet was given a gene which teaches them to dance in clubs. I however, was not. I'm a foot-tapper, an arm waver and just a general jumper. So whilst everyone else is bumpin' it out I just look like a twat.
8. I once went on a night out, sat down and dominated the Super Nintendo. I got into a scrap with boys who wanted to play, I quote "no, fuck off, I'm playing". I basically spend £3 to get in to play a game I had half an hour down the road. How ladylike..
9. I have no liking for bags, clothes and shoes (which is horrendeous as I work in a shoe shop). Getting me clothes shopping is the worst, I'd rather shit in my hands and clap. Why would any one want to spend their money on clothes bags and shoes when it can be spend on gigs and alcohol?! Errrr hellllllooo!? I went about 4 years just owning one pair of shoes & I've had my bag for a good 5 years. Absolutely no shame.
10. What the hell is jewellery? I ALWAYS get given this as gifts, and it looks nice don't get me wrong, but there is no point me even having it because I ALWAYS forget to put it on. It's probably really thoughtful, but what's the point in having something that's just gonna stay in the box?
11. I first realised I was a bit of a boy in 2004 when McFly released 5 Colours In Her Hair and every girl in the country was obsessing over it and over them, and there I was listening to Stacy's Mom and D12's My Band. I had absolutely no interest in McFly whatsoever. I couldn't see the attraction at all... Their cheesy pop was far too girly for my liking.
12. I once played in a men's 7-a-side football match. Can I just add this was the best time of my life and even though I got proper scared at the time I made a proper good save and it was all fabulous. Basically, I begged my mates to let me play with them all year and then they said I could. Yeah, I was then told that women can't play with men and that I could start my own women's team, my argument was I don't know enough women to play, that and the fact girls would probably be far too serious/bitchy for that.
13. I have a laddish way of talking. I speak like a boy. Everyone is either "mate", "lad", "son" or "a fella". Yep. Man or woman, you will be addressed as this.
14. There's a long running joke with my gay friends that we were born the wrong way round. This is pretty self explanatory.
15. I punched my friend the other day, left hand can I add. And his reply was "Beth you are a boy." Yep. There is no messing around. Just say what everyone's thinking.
16. If you are my friend, I will fart and burp around you without excusing myself. I know, I know, disgusting. I was awarded Best Farter in our hall awards last year and it's something I'm actually proud of. Embrace it.
17. If I'm not going anywhere don't expect me to shower or brush my hair. What's the point? No-ones gonna see me.
Apart from having conversations daily about my lad-likeness those are other reasons why I am a terrible girl... I do love being a girl, it has many perks, obviously I use these to my advantage before everyone gets to know me for the real me...
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